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Mary

Hi Nancy,

What do you make of your comment, "My reading of that is that she's proud to be just like Elijah Page,. . . " ??

What is the new binary being set up here?

When I put myself in her place, asking, if that were my son, what would i do, say, I know I would be feeling what she feels. Maybe the difference would be that since I have this Girardian lens with which to look at life, I might have a sense that I don't want to stay in that place. So maybe my own work and mission as one who is beginning to get this stuff is to learn how to stretch beyond my own grief turned to anger turned to violence to. . . what is coming toward me in cross man.

Thanks for provoking me to jump into the binary you have described, and to jump first w/ Mrs. Poage. Perhaps it is from that abyss that I can get somewhere else -

your sister in the cross man -

nancy

Mary- help me out here...I'm confused as to where you're perceiving the binary. I understand the emotional logic of the violence, but I want to make sure I'm understanding all that you're saying. I have to admit though, although I understand it, it's an intellectual stretch for me; my emotional response does not mirror that of Mrs. Poage, perhaps because the violence is so repugnant. I'm still left speechless by the violence of the perpetrator, and I don't pretend to know how to love him on a genuine and personal basis, but I do know that I will not find comfort or closure in his (state sanctioned) murder. Anyway, which binary are you envisioning?

My response "that she's proud to be just like Elijah Page" is based on equating violence with violence, that is, the state sanctioned murder/exection of Elijah Page is, in the end, the same violence that Mr. Page himself used against his victim. By equating the death penalty with what it means to be an American and then saying she is proud to be one as a result of this murder/execution, Mrs. Poage has appropriated deadly violence as an appropriate means to satisfy her desires. I think that puts her/us in a position of complicity with Mr. Page in regard to violence. We're all willing to use it to achieve our desires, whether it's because we desire no witnesses to our act of robbery (Mr. Page) or we desire justice and closure for our grief (Mrs. Poage). Sorry if that's offensive to people, but I see it as another venue through which we participate in sin/violence.

Mary

The binary I saw involved putting Mrs. Poage in a category with others who kill. Could she have been more appropriate in her feelings toward her son's killer? Perhaps, but in our culture how does she get there? Ann Wilson Shaef, writing Women's Reality and subsequent books, notes that sitting down with a client and staying with them in their space for as long as it takes, is about the only way to help them move beyond it.
Let's continue our dialogue.

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