Bullying Billy

Not too long ago I suggested to our church leaders that we might want to consider adopting a program that teaches forgiveness and alternatives to bullying. Seeing it as primarily a problem of children, they pointed out to me that the local school system already does that, so if I wanted more people in the church I should come up with something new that no one else does. Sadly, we dropped the issue, although no one had anything to offer in it's place- perhaps because we weren't able to find a "synoptic" viewpoint. I wasn't trying to enlarge church membership; to be blunt, I really don't care about that. Anything done with the sole goal of increasing membership will usually fail; very few people are willing to contribute to a head count to make folks feel good on Sunday morning about belonging to a big-enough church. What I care about is extending the real effect of the gospel into the world, and I'm of the rather naive opinion that the church is responsible for that by definition.  As the story of Billy Wolfe shows, (www.nytimes.com/danbarry) the school systems of the nation are woefully inadequate when it comes to this.

Billy is currently 16, but has been regularly bullied since he was 12. No one is quite sure why, although there are a few guesses floating around.  Really good reasons, (!) like he was too tall, wore glasses, or, more likely, had difficulty reading.  More telling is the context of the first incident; Billy went to his mother when his peers tried to conscript him into their sex-toy purchasing plans. She blew the whistle on the project by informing the other parents, and Billy's life became a living hell. At one point the bullies created a Facebook page titled: Every One That Hates Billy Wolfe. It should surprise no one that their rage has a sexual focus; Billy's face was superimposed over Peter Pan, and he was described as being both a "bitch" and homosexual. What  is mind boggling is that no one in Arkansas can figure out why Billy is being bullied. The bullying has progressed to the point of blaming Billy for it; more than one school official has suggested either that Billy contributes to it or that he deserves it. It's also been noted that Billy's grades aren't that good; perhaps he's not trying hard enough? Or, is it that he can't read the material in his textbook due to the graffiti that has been inscribed there? Not to mention the demoralizing impact of the continual violence.

Currently, beating up on Billy has become a status symbol of sorts. The way to be "in" is to keep Billy out- and moments of violence are memorialized on cell phone camera's to document the achievement of the desired "I beat up Billy" moment. To say this is outrageous is an oversimplification. The question is, why can't anyone, his parents or his school system, keep this child safe while he gets his legally required education?

Billy's parents are deeply concerned about him, and have documented the incidents with photo's of his injuries and ER reports. They have a thick file. They don't want to remove him from the school; apparently reassigning him to another would require that the family move. They firmly believe that Billy SHOULD be safe in school, and they want the school officials to make that happen. Their most recent effort involves suing several of the bullies; they're apparently considering suing the school system as well. They wonder why the school does not call the police on behalf of their son; I'm wondering why they don't call them themselves. Not that I think it would do much good- after all, the whole cycle started with his mother intervening for him with his male peers. Replicating that dynamic would probably not come to a good end. Actually, I think that suing the bullies is a stroke of genius, although I think it's a lucky accident rather than a well thought out strategy.  I could be wrong about that, and I hope I am. It will bode better for Billy if the adults around him have caught on to what's going on here. But before addressing that, I have to ask why the parents aren't willing to put the safety of their son before everything else. I am not blaming them for the bullying, but I am holding them responsible for Billy's safety. If your 12 year old is coming home bloody on a regular basis, something needs to be done beyond documentation. Moving is one option; intervention that addresses the dynamics of the issue is another. In a sideways manner, suing the bullies may come closer to that than the parents probably realize. At the very least, it acknowledges the bullies as people of power, which might spare Billy's blood.

The school system does not  have the resources to deal with the human behavior evident in these students, even if they could name and explain it. If they do, they certainly have not used it to Billy's advantage. And while I'm sure there has been a lot more intervention than was documented in the article, it has clearly been ineffective for Billy. Four years is a lot of time to be beaten and bloodied.

So why is this happening this way?  The initial offense by Billy in the eyes of his peers was a betrayal of a sexual nature. I'm sure it was no accident that put his face on Peter Pan on that Facebook page; Peter Pan is the boy who won't grow up and be a man who has sex with women. Peter Pan isn't interested in sexual maturity; Peter wants to continue to play with the boys, which also explains the description of Billy as homosexual and as a bitch, the latter being a derogatory way of identifying who SHOULD be playing with the boys- girls. Regardless of whether the sex toys were intended for hetero or homo sexual play, the fact that Billy exposed this illicit desire made him a scapegoat par excellence. There isn't much that's more powerful than sex when it comes to scapegoating, and a lot less can get you killed.  At some level, the adults around him are participating in the dynamics of the crowd, equally unwilling to identify with this victim who refused adult sexual activity at age 12. By now, that's probably pretty well buried, but the process and the kinds of insults hurled at Billy suggest that this is a dynamic that no one is comfortable with; no one really wants to take this kids side; to do so would be to affirm Billy's 12 year old innocence as valid. It would mean that those who understand his reluctance to join his male peers in sexual experimentation may be reluctant themselves. Public identification with Billy would likely bring the same sort of anxious disgust and violence down on oneself.  It is significant that only his mother speaks as his advocate, something that probably reinforces the bullies disdain and their fear of him. He represents what is unacceptable in them, so he needs to have it beaten out of him/them. The dynamics of mimesis/scapegoating are screaming to be heard here, but like most mob scenes, the participants literally can't hear them. Yet, we expect our schools to deal with this reality on a daily basis. Versed neither in Mimetic Theory nor in the wisdom of the gospel, is it any wonder that they're letting the bullies beat up on Billy?

I'm going back to my church board with another request that we learn how to respond to bullies and assume a position of leadership in the community in that regard.  Schools are not charged with teaching forgiveness and love for one's enemies; the church is. The fact that many school systems have some sort of program to address bullying may speak more to our failure as a community of faith than it does to anything else. There are plenty of other people who do lots of the same things the church does, whether it's clothing the naked or feeding the hungry or housing the homeless or any of a zillion other things that churches do to express love in the world.  But only we have Jesus to show us both our sin and the solution.  It seems to me that we should be doing just about everything the world does, only differently, lovingly. Isn't that what  being a new creation in Christ is all about? I'm betting Billy would really appreciate it if someone shared the good news with him and those who bully him- and that's our job.   

nancy hitt

Comments

[michael hardin]

Nancy:

I too read the story of Billy Wolfe and was sad, angry and just fed up with our "Judeo-Christian" society. Your post highlights the importance of our learning to share good news that does not involve scapegoats, how I wish for that day!