My
blog writing has been sparse of late. In mulling over why this might be I can’t
say that I’ve reached any sure conclusions. Perhaps it has something to do with
the volume of words that are inflating the information highway. I hearken back
to one of my core philosophies, captured in the words of the Chinese
philosopher Lao Tse -
“The purpose of a
fish trap is to catch fish and when the fish are caught, the trap is forgotten.
The purpose of a rabbit snare is to catch rabbits. When the rabbits are
caught, the snare is forgotten. The purpose of the word is to convey
ideas. When the ideas are grasped, the words are forgotten. Where
can I find a man who has forgotten words? He is the one I would like to
talk to.”
Of
all the words we hear, speak or read, which ones do we remember?
One
of the tasks to which I devote myself is conducting funerals. On average I
conduct 50 funerals a year. Each one is a remembrance and celebration of a
particular life. Each one involves telling a person’s life story, whether that
life spanned one breath or a hundred years. Each funeral involves a
conversation with someone in order to learn the story.
I
record bits and pieces of the conversation, much like a reporter, by writing
things down in a notebook while we speak. Sometimes the room where the conversation
takes place is full people all speaking over each other. Sometimes there is
just one other person there. Sometimes the atmosphere is palpable, as if
emotions become physical realities. Sometimes the stories people tell have no
basis in rhyme or reason, but a certain truth emerges. I’ve heard stories that
have no explanation other than that there is a reality beyond that which we can
see and touch and feel for ourselves.
I’ve
had a few experiences lately where people have responded to something I’ve
written by offering personal attacks. Some weeks ago I wrote about how I
challenged what I perceived as racism in the title of a magazine article. The
author responded with denial and indignation. Even from people who one would
think of as allies in a given cause, I’ve received rather snarky ripostes.
It’s
okay to disagree with someone. The challenge of disagreement is to be civilized
about it. There may be opinions that I strongly challenge, but that does not
grant me the right to challenge the worth of the person who holds those opinions.
The
information highway seems to be stripping away the sense of the need for
civility in debate. I am happy to trade opinions, but I will not engage in a
dialogue of rudeness. Someone writing a letter which they sign off, “Have Fun
in Hell,” does not encourage a desire to try to understand where they are
coming from.
I
once belonged to a civic betterment organization that I eventually quit. When
asked why, the only reason that seemed honest was, “It reminded me too much of
everything I disliked about high school.” In some respects it seems that the
world hasn’t moved far on from there.
So
for now, it’s back to the stories, the parables of Jesus, the proverbs and
psalms. Back to the words that will help me forget so many words. Oh, you’ll keep
hearing from me on this site. It’s a good outlet and relatively safe.
Take
Care – John Mann
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